Hard Day . . . Update

 
I’m having a hard day today. I think I’m just tired. But I don’t have time to be tired. lol It’s been a looong week. I’m ready for my husband to be HOME from this neverending week.
Right now I’m just exhausted by it all. Fundraising and paperwork and learning the things we need to learn and preparing for our son’s arrival.
 
We get so many questions. At church, at bible study, from friends and neighbors, from coworkers, from strangers, from grant people . . . I wish I had better answers. I want to answer better. I’d really love it if I had good answers to give!
 

People and family and grant foundations ask about travel dates . . .

 
We don’t know. We just don’t. The country had suspended adoptions 7 years ago and only opened back up four years ago. It’s a pilot program. Our program is working hard to build trust with this resilient country and they have AMAZING work being done in the community that goes far beyond adoption. They are working toward meaningful, long-term partnership in a community that has fought so hard for themselves for decades. Our adoption is just a blip in that big picture. There’s NO standard procedure here though. The policies in place are being bent or waived because of Liam’s medical situation. We’re hurrying up and waiting, waiting . . . on homestudy social workers that took 12 weeks to send us our completed file. On government agencies. On financing. We don’t know and I soooo wish we did.
 
Yet, we’ve seen miracles here too!! He was hospitalized and not expected to make it. He did. We got our passports in THREE hours. Complete strangers we don’t even know well have given more financially to our family for this adoption than anyone else.
 

We get the ask if we have actual medical records . . .?

 
Well . . . not what we’re used to seeing anywhere. Nothing that would actually viably pass as a medical record here. No. Let me show you what the big hospital there is like and tell you how many (how few really) doctors even exist in his country. Do you know our boy’s country’s history? (Probably not because we don’t/can’t share it publicly . . .) From what we know he has all of these things going on: hydrocephalus, blindness, possible deafness or HOH, cleft palate, significant overall delays. He’s not sitting, crawling, or standing. We’ll find out his true diagnoses once we get him on US soil.
BUT, he can smile. He likes having company. He got propped up in a bumbo with head support. He’s a little light!
 

Well, what are we doing to fundraise? Have you tried this?

 
I don’t think there’s anything we haven’t tried or looked into or applied for yet. If we haven’t it’s because we’re unable not unwilling. If we’ve eliminated an effort with fundraising it’s because it got no response or time felt better applied elsewhere. If anyone has ideas . . . we’ll definitely look at trying it! We’ve had AMAZING, generous offers from so many to help either by running direct sales, hosting auctions, or giving a percentage of their OWN business income. It’s awesome and humbling.
 

We’re going to keep on keeping on. He’s worth every bit of this 100,000,000 times over!

I’ve had people imply that if we can’t get it together then maybe that’s God’s NO to this. I’ve had people question why we don’t let someone else “just go get him”. We’re running through the gamut that is transracial adoption and special needs adoption. We’re colliding lives, cultures, and stories here. We’re questioning and praying about our every move.
It’s daunting.
I’m just telling myself it’s all preparation for him coming here. Once he’s here it’s just going to be more of similar. Hospital visits and post-adoption reports and therapy and insurance and legal paperwork and so much more. All the unknowns and insecurities and questioning is molding us into the parents and advocates he’s going to need in the months and years ahead of us. I never imagined loving someone we have yet to meet in person so deeply and surely as this. Yet, we feel so inadequate and humbled  through every day of this process. We are NOT the parents our sweet boy was meant to have in his life. But, we’re going to do all we can to give him 150% of our best to him.
 
hydrocephalus adoption
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